Ungrateful

I cringe as I write that word. It's true of me: I'm ungrateful.

This came crashing into my reality only recently when I read this quote:

"What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?" 

 My response was: I would have nothing.

That got my attention. Finding things--searching outside myself--to focus on that I am truly grateful for really pours water on the fire of anger and bitterness.

I struggle most days with choosing joy and contentment over selfishness and circumstance. But I have learned that a thankful heart is rarely self-centered and a grateful attitude rarely contains anger. So I focus on being thankful.

Please be my strength

Gungor

Recoup

Things are going well. Grant actually had strep throat over the weekend {with 102* fever!} but he saw the doc on Monday and is on penicillin. Things are looking up!

We're both busy with school and group work and presentations and find that our "exploring" phase of London has dwindled significantly - but not completely! Other than trying new venue, pubs, and restaurants, we pretty much crash at home - reading, studying, emailing, facebooking, or blogging. We do have some fun things coming up, though!

My class is having a Halloween party in Seven Sisters (North London)
We're helping plan this Masquerade Boat Party in November
My family is coming to play in December for Christmas!
Hillsong is having a ridiculous NYE party that we get to help plan and organize
In January we're having a massive Murder Mystery Party
In February we're teaming up with Hillsong's The Gathering for a Valentine's Day Party
In March we're heading to Bulgaria for a snowboarding/ ski trip!!

I can hardly contain myself. That's about all that's new with us. What's new with you??

I'm on the mend!

The nurse said she wouldn't have to see me again for 6 weeks! That was just news too good to not pass along!!

We--Mama, Grant, and I (with the doctor's permission)--have been able to do some really fun stuff:
The Mousetrap at St. Martin's Theatre--amazing!
Driving Miss Daisy at Wyndham's Theatre--who knew a touching story of a jewish lady and a black man would make us miss Atlanta so? Beautifully done--it was Vanessa Redgrave and James Earl Jones's finest hour High Tea with friends; drinks at the Holly Bush with more friends (I had a Coke... I was still very much on meds but loved the company and setting)
Dinner with Londoner Katie (from Church)
Lunch with Aussie Gimyana (also from Church)
Tea with family-friend Katia and her new baby!!
Mama squeezed in the British Museum and a few other "touristy" things without me {and Grant went to class}

I have learned much about myself and about where I put my trust and my hope. There was much newness and little/ no comforts of the familiar: new place, new school, new flat, new healthcare system, no family except my exceptionally patient and kind husband who attended to me with limitless care. It showed me how much I value comfort and ease over the new and unfamiliar and difficult--how blessed and lucky we are to have to much support even in a new place and strange circumstances. It also taught me that you can create friendship and family with people all around you. The body of Christ is a beautiful thing in action.

We are grateful. We are healing. We are going to be ok.

Just in case you're one of the few who have not seen this {64 million others beat you to it} this is treat from me to you:


Something about the eyes and the nose and mouth... remind me of Georgia. Happy Friday!

NHS - Surgery

Yes, I had appendicitis and an appendectomy.
Yes, I survived the National Healthcare Service and I was in the hospital for 6 days.
No, I did not like it.
Yes, my mama is here taking care of me (with Grant's patient and attentive care, of course) and I seem to be recovering well, albeit slowly.

I really don't like talking about it and am ready to be done with the whole experience, to be honest.
Wednesday through Monday I was in the Royal Free Hospital in Hampstead. Having been woken up every hour of the night with by-the-book symptoms of appendicitis, a neighbor offered to drive us! Praise the Lord! I was examined by a med school student and an EMT in training. It was a little disconcerting for him to be examining me in so much pain, asking questions like, "So should I begin by pressing here? and applying about how much pressure?" I did NOT want to be his guinea pig. Oh, also, I was literally on a cot in a storage room. Seriously. People would come in and out to get gloves, IV bags, etc while I was being examined, each one shocked to find a patient in that room!

Hours later they told me that it probably was appendicitis, but they wanted to get a Gyn opinion and an ultra sound. Oddly enough, many departments in NHS work M-F 9-5. At this point, the ultrasound department had just closed, so they put me to bed to wait it out. When I asked What if it should burst, releasing toxins into the incredibly compact area of my abdominal cavity? They reassured me: If it bursts, we will know...!

Thursday, they operated.

Friday, I was told the surgery was successful. I have two scars: the laproscopic approach didn't work, so I have the typical appendectomy scar, too. I was detained Saturday, Sunday, and most of Monday. I never saw my surgeon again. I won't dwell on the negative, but the care and overall experience was sub-par. Please pray for healing, for a full recovery {the woman next to me had been back FOUR TIMES for post-op complications after her initial surgery 8 months ago....} and for restoration.

Mama's here now! Yay! She arrived on Monday and got to experience first-hand a bit of the NHS with me until I was released. Her timing has been perfect because this is a really busy week at school for Grant!

As for me now, I am still struggling to get up, sit up, stand up, and walk - but I'm doing it! My wounds throb, and daily things have become exhausting: taking a shower, drying my hair, getting dressed may take hours...! But sleep is good for healing so I sleep as much as possible.

A few positives, so as not to end on a negative with NHS:

• They serve you tea every day, twice a day in the hospital at 10 and at 2.
• The food is actually really good and you have a full menu to choose from for up to a full 3-course meal, if you so choose (and are able).
• You are in "wards" which means your bed is one of 4, 6, or 8 in one room. This may seem like a negative, and sometimes it can be, but visiting hours are STRICT! so for the majority of the time you are alone, except for your fellow companions, and the conversation is usually easy and it all makes you feel less lonely.
  

Your prayers are much appreciated!

Times and Seasons

"Jesus said to them, 'It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by His own authority.'" (Acts 1:7)

I realize that this was in response to the disciples' question about the second coming of Christ and the restoration of Israel, not in direct response, to say, my equally important question. But I feel I am in the middle of a season of when and why not now and I find myself pleading with God all the time.

Nothing wrong with that!

The disciples understood this and came from a long line of Jews asking desperately how and when and how long, oh Lord?! Most of the Old Testament is sprinkled with the groaning of people - the Israelites in the desert, the people striving to establish justice through judges, the nation crying out for a king, the prophets lamenting Israel's wayward heart, the "remnant" of the Babylonian captivity, the revelation of the coming Christ Messiah - the waiting, the disbelief, the confusion, the crucifixion, the three days, and finally the resurrection! There is hope and a promise and salvation as a result of all that, but what a history to have come out of.

So we, too, as believers corporately step into this long line of patiently waiting for the revelation of something to come. There is a powerful spiritual implication for each of us, if we can grasp it, accepting the season of already, not yet.

Today at Hillsong, I was reminded of this verse, and it seems that God is speaking right to my soul: Lucy, it is not for you to know times or seasons that I've fixed by My own authority.

There is a purpose.

I am God. You are not. {It's better this way.}

I don't need your permission; I have all authority.

I am trustworthy.

It seems to be much easier expelling energy (to my detriment, I might add) fighting the whole thing, but to what end?

He has designed it - any season of waiting - as a time to either struggle against the not-knowing and pout like a child {me, mostly} or to revel in the journey. Do I let Him lead me or do I seek my will, missing what could be something beautiful? Am I stiff-necked, proud, and untrusting or pliable, teachable, and moldable? Do I value the known over the unknown - no matter the cost; regardless of the One who goes before me and behind me?

It is a simple and frustrating question: Do I trust Him?

I want the answer. He wants my heart.

I want independence. He wants my humility.

I want knowledge. He wants my trust.

I want the destination. He wants the journey.

And he gave a cry, saying, "I have faith; make my feeble faith stronger!" (Mark 9:24b) Lord, help me learn to wait.

A Treat for You

Just for those of you who read and follow my blog. Here's a shot of the Lady Chapel {aka: Albert Memorial Chapel} of St. George's Chapel at Windsor. Stunning, isn't it?



And a few Guards just walking around on duty in the Lower Ward of the palace.



And finally, we have had a guest in our backgarden today. I was sitting in bed reading this morning, when something outside caught my eye... a fox! I'm pretty sure it was just perusing the garden for things to snack on, but still....

I have limited iPhone evidence. After I show it to Grant, I'll see if he confirms or denies my claim that a fox is what I saw. {I wish you could have seen me trying to record this darting, quick little creature outside the french doors of our bedroom.... He was a good distance away, I was perched on the edge of the end of our bed, trying to get a shot that worked, all the while battling the curtains to stay open without dropping the phone... that could've been a noteworthy sight in and of itself, had you been here this morning...!}

One Month

It's officially one month today: we've lived in London, dealt with the transition of moving, found a flat we call home, mastered survived public transport, and seen some pretty awesome sights.

London is amazing and intoxicating and the energy here is vibrant.

There is this beautiful combination of Old World and New World here where you can plan an outing to the largest occupied castle in the world {more on that later!} or just wander around randomly and have an equally intriguing encounter with this great city and its surroundings. We love it.

Today, we went to Windsor.

Private apartments of the Queen

Back Gardens and State Rooms

We got a deal on tickets and got to be a part of history, too! They just reopened The Round Tower for the first time in 30 years - it's a trial run for August and September only - and we got to be in one of the groups.

Loved it. The view was unparalleled!

You can see all of the surrounding royal grounds, gardens, and park, as well as the Thames River Valley and London skyline. We took the train out there, packed a picnic lunch (yum!), and toured the castle - tower, state rooms, upper and lower wards, St. George's and Lady Chapel {aka: Albert Memorial Chapel}. Followed it up with a quick jaunt through Great Park - The Long Walk to George III's statue - and a look around the charming and picturesque town. I know why it's the Queen's favoured residence.

My Favourite Part: The Norman Gate

The Sweetest Thing

Every once in a while, I'll come into that twilight sleep/wake of morning to discover that at some point Grant's hand has sought mine as we lie sleeping, and our fingers are still entwined.

This is becoming a trend (I first noticed it around our 3rd anniversary) and one I treasure.

The delightful problem of a good book

The delightful problem of a good book is that I can't put it down. I have read 5 such books since we've been settled in our flat. Two weeks tomorrow and one MONTH in London!! Time's flying! I find I read constantly while out and about - even (and especially) at home.

Herein lies the second problem: nothing to read on the tube/ bus. I have seriously started out my day, realized I have nothing to read because I've finished my recent read, stopped into a bookshop on the way to the tube, only to repeat the process two days later.

A delightful problem indeed. However, not sure my sweet, caring, handsome hubs appreciates me buying several books every few days, what with both of us on the verge of purchasing many heavy books of the graduate degree persuasion... Perhaps these minor buys - like my lunches out - will remain a mystery to him. Yes, he reads my blog...!

Cheers!