I'm back...?

Well. It's been a while. Seriously. But I think I'm ready to come back to blogging.

I remember when I started it reading about how often one should post to her blog... then I thought, If I don't have anything worth saying, I'm not going to post - just for the sake of posting.

So I didn't.

The silence on here for the better part of 2 years isn't as simple as that. I'm not sure if I've had anything worth saying or not, but I know God has been speaking to me. Looking back over this blog, it's so easy and evident to see all that He's said and done in our lives and marriage over the years - all here in one place.

Blogging is such a snapshot of life for us and such an honest glimpse into into our lives - and years from now I want to be able to remember it all, or at least be reminded of what life was really like.

I remember in my early days of blogging getting upset about the number of comments - or lack thereof! - and thinking what's the point? Now I know better. You write because there's something creative that has to come out of you - not because it's perfect, not because it's finished, not because of the size or participation of your audience.

I'm coming up on a birthday - 29 on Saturday! - and it's really funny to think of the ways I feel older and more grown up. There is so much more to our life in London than I've written - more to our actual lives than I've written. But surprisingly (to me perhaps more than anyone) I have gotten good at listening.

Really listening.

Not listening, anticipating what she'll say so I can have a funny or witty retort.

Listening to her heart.

Silently, uninterruptedly listening to all things said and unspoken.

I love it.

So while there will be more writing and "speaking" on here, there is a much deeper, quieter listening happening here too.

Hopefully out of this quiet, pensive, meditative space something new will burst forth. That's why I think I'm coming back.

Write on.

Catch Up - Almost

Hey blog world. I will catch you up soon in pictures. But for now, my family's here and we're enjoying London at Christmastime. They embrace the whole 12 Days of Christmas thing, so the holiday spirit is still going strong! And we are loving it.

I'll leave you with this: 

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! See you in 2012!

The Jesus Story

Kids are the best. This rendition of Jesus's birth is both hilarious and cute.



Amen.

North Point Ministries

This is the church we left in Atlanta. So proud to have been a part of it.

North Point Ministries' Be Rich. Do More. Give More Campaign.

Be Rich 2011 Celebration from North Point Media on Vimeo.

Speck and Plank

My own blindness astounds me.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in someone else’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from the other person’s eye." {Matthew 7:3-5}

It's amazing the things that seem so clear in me someone else's life but I'm blind to that very thing in my own life. I recently said:

"How does she not know that faith is grown life, not in bible studies?!"

Wisdom, knowledge, discernment, identifying and drawing near to the Character of God, the Person of Christ, the Miracle of the Holy Spirit all happens in bible study--and bible studies are great! But faith is something that is grown in the everyday--the good and the bad, but especially the bad...

How did I miss God growing my faith (even especially in my doubt and anger) by all this in my life?? How??

So I've made up with God and we're on speaking terms again; things are good and I'm now open to instruction (whereas before I had serious bouts of throwing my toys on the floor and stamping my feet around like a toddler). We all have our moments. And thankfully, in God's grace, we can have them unedited--He can take it.

But when we are ready to grow up a bit--and I am ready--we can learn from the pulling and stretching, the pruning and circumcising, when we are ready to accept both the new wine and the new wineskins, our covenant (like a reconciled marriage) is a beautiful and intimate one.

That's where I find myself most of the time these days. The difficult, graceful, new, frustrating, reassuring place of faith-growing life here in London.

Ungrateful

I cringe as I write that word. It's true of me: I'm ungrateful.

This came crashing into my reality only recently when I read this quote:

"What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?" 

 My response was: I would have nothing.

That got my attention. Finding things--searching outside myself--to focus on that I am truly grateful for really pours water on the fire of anger and bitterness.

I struggle most days with choosing joy and contentment over selfishness and circumstance. But I have learned that a thankful heart is rarely self-centered and a grateful attitude rarely contains anger. So I focus on being thankful.

NHS - Surgery

Yes, I had appendicitis and an appendectomy.
Yes, I survived the National Healthcare Service and I was in the hospital for 6 days.
No, I did not like it.
Yes, my mama is here taking care of me (with Grant's patient and attentive care, of course) and I seem to be recovering well, albeit slowly.

I really don't like talking about it and am ready to be done with the whole experience, to be honest.
Wednesday through Monday I was in the Royal Free Hospital in Hampstead. Having been woken up every hour of the night with by-the-book symptoms of appendicitis, a neighbor offered to drive us! Praise the Lord! I was examined by a med school student and an EMT in training. It was a little disconcerting for him to be examining me in so much pain, asking questions like, "So should I begin by pressing here? and applying about how much pressure?" I did NOT want to be his guinea pig. Oh, also, I was literally on a cot in a storage room. Seriously. People would come in and out to get gloves, IV bags, etc while I was being examined, each one shocked to find a patient in that room!

Hours later they told me that it probably was appendicitis, but they wanted to get a Gyn opinion and an ultra sound. Oddly enough, many departments in NHS work M-F 9-5. At this point, the ultrasound department had just closed, so they put me to bed to wait it out. When I asked What if it should burst, releasing toxins into the incredibly compact area of my abdominal cavity? They reassured me: If it bursts, we will know...!

Thursday, they operated.

Friday, I was told the surgery was successful. I have two scars: the laproscopic approach didn't work, so I have the typical appendectomy scar, too. I was detained Saturday, Sunday, and most of Monday. I never saw my surgeon again. I won't dwell on the negative, but the care and overall experience was sub-par. Please pray for healing, for a full recovery {the woman next to me had been back FOUR TIMES for post-op complications after her initial surgery 8 months ago....} and for restoration.

Mama's here now! Yay! She arrived on Monday and got to experience first-hand a bit of the NHS with me until I was released. Her timing has been perfect because this is a really busy week at school for Grant!

As for me now, I am still struggling to get up, sit up, stand up, and walk - but I'm doing it! My wounds throb, and daily things have become exhausting: taking a shower, drying my hair, getting dressed may take hours...! But sleep is good for healing so I sleep as much as possible.

A few positives, so as not to end on a negative with NHS:

• They serve you tea every day, twice a day in the hospital at 10 and at 2.
• The food is actually really good and you have a full menu to choose from for up to a full 3-course meal, if you so choose (and are able).
• You are in "wards" which means your bed is one of 4, 6, or 8 in one room. This may seem like a negative, and sometimes it can be, but visiting hours are STRICT! so for the majority of the time you are alone, except for your fellow companions, and the conversation is usually easy and it all makes you feel less lonely.
  

Your prayers are much appreciated!

Times and Seasons

"Jesus said to them, 'It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by His own authority.'" (Acts 1:7)

I realize that this was in response to the disciples' question about the second coming of Christ and the restoration of Israel, not in direct response, to say, my equally important question. But I feel I am in the middle of a season of when and why not now and I find myself pleading with God all the time.

Nothing wrong with that!

The disciples understood this and came from a long line of Jews asking desperately how and when and how long, oh Lord?! Most of the Old Testament is sprinkled with the groaning of people - the Israelites in the desert, the people striving to establish justice through judges, the nation crying out for a king, the prophets lamenting Israel's wayward heart, the "remnant" of the Babylonian captivity, the revelation of the coming Christ Messiah - the waiting, the disbelief, the confusion, the crucifixion, the three days, and finally the resurrection! There is hope and a promise and salvation as a result of all that, but what a history to have come out of.

So we, too, as believers corporately step into this long line of patiently waiting for the revelation of something to come. There is a powerful spiritual implication for each of us, if we can grasp it, accepting the season of already, not yet.

Today at Hillsong, I was reminded of this verse, and it seems that God is speaking right to my soul: Lucy, it is not for you to know times or seasons that I've fixed by My own authority.

There is a purpose.

I am God. You are not. {It's better this way.}

I don't need your permission; I have all authority.

I am trustworthy.

It seems to be much easier expelling energy (to my detriment, I might add) fighting the whole thing, but to what end?

He has designed it - any season of waiting - as a time to either struggle against the not-knowing and pout like a child {me, mostly} or to revel in the journey. Do I let Him lead me or do I seek my will, missing what could be something beautiful? Am I stiff-necked, proud, and untrusting or pliable, teachable, and moldable? Do I value the known over the unknown - no matter the cost; regardless of the One who goes before me and behind me?

It is a simple and frustrating question: Do I trust Him?

I want the answer. He wants my heart.

I want independence. He wants my humility.

I want knowledge. He wants my trust.

I want the destination. He wants the journey.

And he gave a cry, saying, "I have faith; make my feeble faith stronger!" (Mark 9:24b) Lord, help me learn to wait.

Hillsong: Our Home away from Home

{The other 1/2 of that previous post's excerpt}

Hillsong London has been the other surprise.

We love it. I mean, we knew the reputation that precedes it: awesome worship, solid theology. What we did not know was THE PEOPLE. Oh my goodness, the people. I cannot explain to you the full extent of my gratitude for their welcoming openness.

We filled out the requisite "Welcome Card" thinking it would be weeks before either of us heard anything. Nope. People had called us and set up coffee for later that week! We have met more people and made new contacts in this otherwise overwhelmingly huge city. We've attended drinks (several times), dinner (twice), a Hillsong party (amazing. they rented out an entire bowling alley/ 2-story bar and maxed out its occupancy), a birthday party (South African braai!), and a clothes swap with tea and cakes (just the girls).

These people are completely open with their hearts, homes, experiences, contacts, and calendars. It makes me wonder why we tend to be so guarded in our relationships and friendships. It seems to me (looking back) that I would almost expect people to prove their worth--jump through a few hoops at least--then I would take the time to invest in them. Not these people. You want a look at first century church... it is here. And it is beautiful. And humbling. It will absolutely bring you to your knees when you witness giving, sharing, and generosity at someone else's expense (making cupcakes from scratch just for you; going out of his way to include you in his birthday party; journeying across town to meet you just because you're new and don't know the area; making a special trip to the store to be sure they have enough -- for you).

We find ourselves, in the still darkness of night, asking, "Why do they do it? Why do they give and give and give and then give some more? Have they never been burned? Do they not end up with crushed expectations? Is there ever a return on their investment?" {If I'm honest, I'm still trying to figure out how they do it without being constantly disappointed, constantly heart-broken over people and things that didn't turn out the way they thought.} I know why they do it. I know it's because the love of Jesus in them runs over into the lives of others.

Here's another happy surprise: knowing that His love spills over and being the recipient of that love are two entirely different things. Wow. Blown away is an understatement.

We're adjusting quite nicely and I have to admit, at least 95% of that has to be because some sweet, real, authentic, raw, un-churched church people decided to take us under their wing and share their world with a couple of strangers who, honestly, may not even be here a year from now... which makes their commitment to us all the more dear. How do they do it? I'm amazed {and am learning MUCH about myself and my motives and my heart}. London and God's grace is treating us well. Thank God for Hillsong London. Seriously.

God has done great things for us and we are filled with joy! {Ps 126:3}

Daily Life Excerpt

Here's an excerpt from an email I recently sent out. I think it just about sums up daily life (at least at first).

As for daily life, things have been surprising. London, for being a world power and the seat of Europe's academic and financial business, can seem like basically a third world country when it comes to customer service (none), processing paperwork (weeks and it may have to be restarted), finding a place to live (a fanatical, fear-driven "get-what-you-can-when-you-can" supply/ demand), and standard of living (crazy expensive plus the unfavorable exchange rate).

There have been plenty of frustrations--many of which, yes, would be the case no matter where in the world we were living because moving is a huge and incredible headache; some of which are completely unique to London life.

But really and truly, that is to be expected and God has been gracious with us and the transition: we didn't lose any luggage, we found a flat and moved in within one week of landing, we have bank accounts set up with access to our money in pounds, our flat is cheery with lots of light, our flat included all kitchen accessories (cutlery, plates, glasses, and basic cookware), we ended up living less than 1/2 a mile from our friends Claude and Mary Elizabeth (KD with me at UGA!)... the list goes on and on and on.

Great is His faithfulness.

London Life

Life is busy but oh so good. We just got done with church: Hillsong London. The worship is amazing and I think we may have found our church home here. At least for now. 

Pics are hard to share because I've used up my allocated Internet usage for the MONTH on my phone and we won't have Internet at our flat until MID-September...! But I'll do my best to show you the before and after of our little place as soon as I can!

Life is so different here, but were taking each day and every experience as a gift from God to learn more about this curious little corner of the globe. Historically speaking, so much of the American government, mindset, and Anglican/ Episcopal church came from over here, there is MUCH to learn and observe... And were not even in school yet!

London with its 13 million people is truly a melting pot of language, culture, religion, philosophy, color, and ideas. It's all fascinating really--if you hold it up to the light and look at it from the right perspective: Choosing joy and embracing the little daily difficulties with a smile, knowing that our lives are being changed and molded by each of them in great and tiny ways that we may never know but will forever appreciate. 

Life is so good and God is so faithful. What more could one ask for??