I'm back...?

Well. It's been a while. Seriously. But I think I'm ready to come back to blogging.

I remember when I started it reading about how often one should post to her blog... then I thought, If I don't have anything worth saying, I'm not going to post - just for the sake of posting.

So I didn't.

The silence on here for the better part of 2 years isn't as simple as that. I'm not sure if I've had anything worth saying or not, but I know God has been speaking to me. Looking back over this blog, it's so easy and evident to see all that He's said and done in our lives and marriage over the years - all here in one place.

Blogging is such a snapshot of life for us and such an honest glimpse into into our lives - and years from now I want to be able to remember it all, or at least be reminded of what life was really like.

I remember in my early days of blogging getting upset about the number of comments - or lack thereof! - and thinking what's the point? Now I know better. You write because there's something creative that has to come out of you - not because it's perfect, not because it's finished, not because of the size or participation of your audience.

I'm coming up on a birthday - 29 on Saturday! - and it's really funny to think of the ways I feel older and more grown up. There is so much more to our life in London than I've written - more to our actual lives than I've written. But surprisingly (to me perhaps more than anyone) I have gotten good at listening.

Really listening.

Not listening, anticipating what she'll say so I can have a funny or witty retort.

Listening to her heart.

Silently, uninterruptedly listening to all things said and unspoken.

I love it.

So while there will be more writing and "speaking" on here, there is a much deeper, quieter listening happening here too.

Hopefully out of this quiet, pensive, meditative space something new will burst forth. That's why I think I'm coming back.

Write on.

Keepin' it Real

Life here is certainly an adventure. We have some fun trips and great pics to show for it. But the day-in, day-out stuff here really sucks.*

Exhibit A:
The Post Office
We received a package while we were out and got a slip to collect at the local post office. We could not locate this local post office on google maps. The phone number listed on our slip rang and rang with no answer and no voice mail; we were instructed to call back four separate times. Grant maps out the post code, walks in that general direction, finds the post office (victory!) only to have the lady not even check for our package. She takes one look at the slip in Grant's hand, says she's sure it's not here anymore (?) and walks away from Grant as he continues to ask her questions about the location of our package. Grant leaves empty handed. He said he's not sure he's ever had any one treat him like that--ever.

Exhibit B:
The Bank
City University attempts to take a large sum of money out of our account--so large that it's way more money than is in our our little account (despite my parents wiring the money to school). As a result, there are insufficient funds that affect our account and card use for days. I'd love to be able to check this online, but I can't because the bank has not texted me a special online banking code, so we are in the dark about recent transactions. Now, there are over-draft fees (unbeknownst to us, having been assured that we would not incur fees from the university only days before). I run to the bank this afternoon at 4:30, arriving around 4:40. The banks here conveniently close at 4:30 not 5:00. I get on the phone where it takes four representatives and two different security people to answer one simple question.  I'm honestly still not sure if anything was resolved.

There's an expression: "It's been real. And It's been fun. But it's not been real fun."

*I know the bank and the post office can suck anywhere.  I know they probably frustrate everyone everywhere. But there are things that are in general more difficult here and things that are in general more convenient at home. I'm not wishing our time away or complaining too much, but if I can't keep it real on here, where can I be honest? This is my safe place to write--when it's great and when it sucks, and everything in between.

Plans vs Reality: a rare but perfect day

I don't have class on Fridays and Grant gets done with his by noon, so I've been dying to plan some fun outings for our Friday afternoons off together.

This morning, Grant skipped out the door on the way to his last marketing class ever (!) and I got up to straighten up a bit and plan our day. I had decided on going to Greenwich to explore and discover the National Maritime Museum, Queen's House, Old Royal Naval College, Royal Observatory and see the famous Cutty Sark. The highlight of the Greenwich trip: The Prime Meridian.

We'd make our way back by waterboat on the Thames, but not before attending evensong at St. Paul's Cathedral. We'd finish up with dinner afterwards at a favorite little Italian place near Embankment and catch the Jubilee line home.

That is not what happened.

Instead, we were both so hungry when Grant got home that we decided to try out a little Italian place close to our flat in Hampstead, then head out to Greenwich. Luigi's was amazing and had unusually large portions (we had spaghetti and lasagna). Before we'd even paid the check, a food coma came over us--the perfect comfortably-full-but-not-stuffed feeling that demands sleep.

What could we do?

As we headed home to lay in bed, snuggle up with two hot water bottles at our feet, and watch movies all afternoon together, I didn't regret tossing our plans aside. It turned out to be a rare but perfect day after all.

North Point Ministries

This is the church we left in Atlanta. So proud to have been a part of it.

North Point Ministries' Be Rich. Do More. Give More Campaign.

Be Rich 2011 Celebration from North Point Media on Vimeo.

I fell flat out... twice last week... true story!

1. Ice skating at Somerset House. I was mid triple-sow-cow when I was suddenly flat on my face. It was funny and my sweet hubs was right there beside me to help me up and laugh about it over hot coco later. {pics to come!}

2. Wet steps in the rain. True. It was pretty spectacular, actually. I had just gotten a coffee... so when I slipped, fell backwards, then continued down several steps, my backside was wet and dirty from the steps, my front was wet and dirty from coffee--in the hair... down the coat... on my knee... into my boots. Spectacular is the only word for it.

Word to the wise: be careful around me in cold and or wet settings. {nothing was even remotely hurt... except my pride.}

5 Minute Friday: Tired

Well this week certainly got away from me. It's already time for another 5 Minute Friday Linkup with The Gypsy Mama! You know the drill.


For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Most importantly: leave a comment for the person who linked up before you – encouraging them in their writing!

TIRED

I'm so tired. A really great Beatles song starts with this line.... Let's not got there. I really am tired. Yesterday was my last day of class for the semester. It feels like I've poured out all my brain on papers and group work and I have very little left with which to think and write and converse.

I wonder when there will be a day when I'm not tired. We stay up late, enjoy each other and the city of London, we sleep in (sometimes, depending on classes), we rinse and repeat. When are the days of 12 hour nights plus naps? Was that only for a brief moment, sophomore year in college? I long for days when I don't feel tired. Or braindead. Or frustrated. Or short-tempered. 

I need some perspective. Someone once told my Mama right before she had me that hopefully she had cherished a good night's sleep because she wouldn't have another one for 18 years...! If these are the good days of restful nights free of care and worry and limited responsibility, I need to feel less tired!

I guess the tiredness affects my attitude and sleep deprivation doesn't help, so I will try to, a) get more sleep and, b) adjust my perspective. It's Christmastime and in the words of Kevin McAllister's mother, "The season of perpetual hope." Amen.

City University London

There are a few things you should know about City.

People call "college"/ "university"/ "school" "Uni" over here. So when I'm on campus, I might text a classmate saying, "I'm at uni. Where are you?" {I'm still getting used to this}

We have a student Union, like Tate at Georgia or the Ferg at Alabama, only this one is a replica of Saved By The Bell's the Max. Let's compare:

The Max

City Uni

Neon lights? Check.

Gaming tables? Check. 

Bright colors? Check.

80s/ 90s music? Check.

Totally cool kids hangout? Like, totally.

But there are some really cool aspects to campus life. We have a square (like a quad) and it's beautiful in the fall. 

Northampton Square

{that little shack in the bottom right corner serves the best coffee}

View from the Library

It can be quite picturesque. And that's what you need to know about City University. That, and there are so many undergrads, a trip to the library is more often an educational experience in overhearing awkward pick-up lines and teen angst than anything else. That part of school translates globally.

Speck and Plank

My own blindness astounds me.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in someone else’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from the other person’s eye." {Matthew 7:3-5}

It's amazing the things that seem so clear in me someone else's life but I'm blind to that very thing in my own life. I recently said:

"How does she not know that faith is grown life, not in bible studies?!"

Wisdom, knowledge, discernment, identifying and drawing near to the Character of God, the Person of Christ, the Miracle of the Holy Spirit all happens in bible study--and bible studies are great! But faith is something that is grown in the everyday--the good and the bad, but especially the bad...

How did I miss God growing my faith (even especially in my doubt and anger) by all this in my life?? How??

So I've made up with God and we're on speaking terms again; things are good and I'm now open to instruction (whereas before I had serious bouts of throwing my toys on the floor and stamping my feet around like a toddler). We all have our moments. And thankfully, in God's grace, we can have them unedited--He can take it.

But when we are ready to grow up a bit--and I am ready--we can learn from the pulling and stretching, the pruning and circumcising, when we are ready to accept both the new wine and the new wineskins, our covenant (like a reconciled marriage) is a beautiful and intimate one.

That's where I find myself most of the time these days. The difficult, graceful, new, frustrating, reassuring place of faith-growing life here in London.

Ungrateful

I cringe as I write that word. It's true of me: I'm ungrateful.

This came crashing into my reality only recently when I read this quote:

"What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?" 

 My response was: I would have nothing.

That got my attention. Finding things--searching outside myself--to focus on that I am truly grateful for really pours water on the fire of anger and bitterness.

I struggle most days with choosing joy and contentment over selfishness and circumstance. But I have learned that a thankful heart is rarely self-centered and a grateful attitude rarely contains anger. So I focus on being thankful.

I'm on the mend!

The nurse said she wouldn't have to see me again for 6 weeks! That was just news too good to not pass along!!

We--Mama, Grant, and I (with the doctor's permission)--have been able to do some really fun stuff:
The Mousetrap at St. Martin's Theatre--amazing!
Driving Miss Daisy at Wyndham's Theatre--who knew a touching story of a jewish lady and a black man would make us miss Atlanta so? Beautifully done--it was Vanessa Redgrave and James Earl Jones's finest hour High Tea with friends; drinks at the Holly Bush with more friends (I had a Coke... I was still very much on meds but loved the company and setting)
Dinner with Londoner Katie (from Church)
Lunch with Aussie Gimyana (also from Church)
Tea with family-friend Katia and her new baby!!
Mama squeezed in the British Museum and a few other "touristy" things without me {and Grant went to class}

I have learned much about myself and about where I put my trust and my hope. There was much newness and little/ no comforts of the familiar: new place, new school, new flat, new healthcare system, no family except my exceptionally patient and kind husband who attended to me with limitless care. It showed me how much I value comfort and ease over the new and unfamiliar and difficult--how blessed and lucky we are to have to much support even in a new place and strange circumstances. It also taught me that you can create friendship and family with people all around you. The body of Christ is a beautiful thing in action.

We are grateful. We are healing. We are going to be ok.

Just in case you're one of the few who have not seen this {64 million others beat you to it} this is treat from me to you:


Something about the eyes and the nose and mouth... remind me of Georgia. Happy Friday!

NHS - Surgery

Yes, I had appendicitis and an appendectomy.
Yes, I survived the National Healthcare Service and I was in the hospital for 6 days.
No, I did not like it.
Yes, my mama is here taking care of me (with Grant's patient and attentive care, of course) and I seem to be recovering well, albeit slowly.

I really don't like talking about it and am ready to be done with the whole experience, to be honest.
Wednesday through Monday I was in the Royal Free Hospital in Hampstead. Having been woken up every hour of the night with by-the-book symptoms of appendicitis, a neighbor offered to drive us! Praise the Lord! I was examined by a med school student and an EMT in training. It was a little disconcerting for him to be examining me in so much pain, asking questions like, "So should I begin by pressing here? and applying about how much pressure?" I did NOT want to be his guinea pig. Oh, also, I was literally on a cot in a storage room. Seriously. People would come in and out to get gloves, IV bags, etc while I was being examined, each one shocked to find a patient in that room!

Hours later they told me that it probably was appendicitis, but they wanted to get a Gyn opinion and an ultra sound. Oddly enough, many departments in NHS work M-F 9-5. At this point, the ultrasound department had just closed, so they put me to bed to wait it out. When I asked What if it should burst, releasing toxins into the incredibly compact area of my abdominal cavity? They reassured me: If it bursts, we will know...!

Thursday, they operated.

Friday, I was told the surgery was successful. I have two scars: the laproscopic approach didn't work, so I have the typical appendectomy scar, too. I was detained Saturday, Sunday, and most of Monday. I never saw my surgeon again. I won't dwell on the negative, but the care and overall experience was sub-par. Please pray for healing, for a full recovery {the woman next to me had been back FOUR TIMES for post-op complications after her initial surgery 8 months ago....} and for restoration.

Mama's here now! Yay! She arrived on Monday and got to experience first-hand a bit of the NHS with me until I was released. Her timing has been perfect because this is a really busy week at school for Grant!

As for me now, I am still struggling to get up, sit up, stand up, and walk - but I'm doing it! My wounds throb, and daily things have become exhausting: taking a shower, drying my hair, getting dressed may take hours...! But sleep is good for healing so I sleep as much as possible.

A few positives, so as not to end on a negative with NHS:

• They serve you tea every day, twice a day in the hospital at 10 and at 2.
• The food is actually really good and you have a full menu to choose from for up to a full 3-course meal, if you so choose (and are able).
• You are in "wards" which means your bed is one of 4, 6, or 8 in one room. This may seem like a negative, and sometimes it can be, but visiting hours are STRICT! so for the majority of the time you are alone, except for your fellow companions, and the conversation is usually easy and it all makes you feel less lonely.
  

Your prayers are much appreciated!

9/11 Ten Years Later: We Remember

It is strange to be over here in London and look both back and across (to America) as we remember.

A decade ago, my cousin was killed in the Pentagon, leaving his pregnant wife behind. We mourned the national tragedy and personal loss deeply. She has since happily remarried and has had other children, but she'll tell you that moving on and raising a kid as a single mom was the hardest thing she's ever had to do. She wouldn't wish that inner turmoil on anyone-- that mixture of grieving over love lost and hoping for new life; a blessing to come and heartache to bear. (I think she'd also tell you that God has redeemed what the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25a) and God has brought abundant joy and family out of a situation meant to destroy her sense of family.)

I'll never forget where I was: Mrs. Gonzales's pre-cal class when someone from the front office told us about it. Mrs. G didn't believe the aide and continued teaching. Only after both Towers were hit did we make our way to the library with so many others and watch... And wait. That day is forever suspended in time, burned into memory.

In the shocking aftermath we watched our country come together. Neighbor helping neighbor, friend helping friend, American helping American.

I have so much pride in our great nation; it is difficult to be away on days like today, when the rest of the world could not understand. But the distance doesn't change or waver our hearts. We're still as present as we can be and we still remember. We are still

One nation under God,
Indivisible,
With liberty and justice for all.
Amen.

Daily Life Excerpt

Here's an excerpt from an email I recently sent out. I think it just about sums up daily life (at least at first).

As for daily life, things have been surprising. London, for being a world power and the seat of Europe's academic and financial business, can seem like basically a third world country when it comes to customer service (none), processing paperwork (weeks and it may have to be restarted), finding a place to live (a fanatical, fear-driven "get-what-you-can-when-you-can" supply/ demand), and standard of living (crazy expensive plus the unfavorable exchange rate).

There have been plenty of frustrations--many of which, yes, would be the case no matter where in the world we were living because moving is a huge and incredible headache; some of which are completely unique to London life.

But really and truly, that is to be expected and God has been gracious with us and the transition: we didn't lose any luggage, we found a flat and moved in within one week of landing, we have bank accounts set up with access to our money in pounds, our flat is cheery with lots of light, our flat included all kitchen accessories (cutlery, plates, glasses, and basic cookware), we ended up living less than 1/2 a mile from our friends Claude and Mary Elizabeth (KD with me at UGA!)... the list goes on and on and on.

Great is His faithfulness.

Flat 2: First Night

So here's a quick vid of our new flat. It is a very rough cut of a very rough "before" apartment, but I just didn't want to forget what moving REALLY looks like ;) And I have no shame, so I decided to share it with you all, too. Move-in date: 24 August 2011. Tomorrow marks one week.

A few things about this video:

1. Notice the Coke--in our hearts, no, we have not left Atlanta ;)

2. Notice the music. We're an eclectic pair (Counting Crows and Brad Paisley. Impressive, I know).

3. Notice the "neutral" color palate {read: apparently, completely white-washing everything makes it "neutral"}

4. Notice the incredibly attractive tall man. I kinda love him a lot.

5. To answer your question: No, I have not yet figured out the washing machine. Nor have I attempted another load of laundry since. Pity the kind and very patient tall man.

There will be pics of the "after" coming soon. Bear with me and my slow/ spotty internet connection.

London Life

Life is busy but oh so good. We just got done with church: Hillsong London. The worship is amazing and I think we may have found our church home here. At least for now. 

Pics are hard to share because I've used up my allocated Internet usage for the MONTH on my phone and we won't have Internet at our flat until MID-September...! But I'll do my best to show you the before and after of our little place as soon as I can!

Life is so different here, but were taking each day and every experience as a gift from God to learn more about this curious little corner of the globe. Historically speaking, so much of the American government, mindset, and Anglican/ Episcopal church came from over here, there is MUCH to learn and observe... And were not even in school yet!

London with its 13 million people is truly a melting pot of language, culture, religion, philosophy, color, and ideas. It's all fascinating really--if you hold it up to the light and look at it from the right perspective: Choosing joy and embracing the little daily difficulties with a smile, knowing that our lives are being changed and molded by each of them in great and tiny ways that we may never know but will forever appreciate. 

Life is so good and God is so faithful. What more could one ask for??