new season

I feel like the past few months have been awesome. I have asked for and received wisdom, and it has been a milestone in my faith journey. Things have changed in my heart, mind, and life--somethings that only God and I will ever fully know. Incredible.

But I feel like the next season of life will be one of obedience. I have learned over the past few months that we spell "love" t-i-m-e and God spells "love" o-b-e-d-i-e-n-c-e, so I am moving into a new season. This will be a season of discipline and structure: in work, in play, in mind, in body, and in soul.

In work: I hope to have structure when I have a job. If God wills something else, I feel quite certain that my time will still involve much structure and self-discipline.

In play: I will make more intentional time to hangout and play with friends.

In body: I am working hard to lose a few pounds and continue an overall healthy lifestyle in working out and choosing wisely what I put into this temple of mine--I only have one ;) . I want to honor God in my choices.

In soul: I have joined a new women's bible study on Friday mornings and am loving it. Furthermore, I'm joining Beth Moore on her blog (with 3500 other women) in committing to memorizing 2 scriptures per month--24 total in 2009. I can't wait. I haven't been this intentional in my disciple time in a while; the time that I've had has been awesome, but different each day, lacking basic structure but abounding in creativity and wisdom. This will be a new time of structured quiet time and quiet self-discipline. I'm incredibly hopeful and excited about this next season of life and obedience to God--exploring what that means and how to live it out.

What new seasons are you all encountering?

blawg

Facebook group turned book venture and blawg ranked nationally. This girl has got it going on.

Check this out:

Law Student’s New Book Showcases the Lighter Side of Bad Grammar
Sharon Eliza Nichols, a second-year law student at Alabama, recently parlayed her Facebook group titled, “I judge you when you use poor grammar," into a book deal with St. Martin’s Press. Her book, I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar: A Collection of Egregious Errors, Inadvertent Bloopers, and Other Linguistic Slip-Ups, is set for release later this year.

For those of us interested in blogs outside our typical web surfing, there are blawgs--law blogs--that comment on some pertinent--and some entertaining--issues that our country faces in the midst of economic and political turmoil, how they will effect daily lives and the law. One such blawg is above the law, and another, thank you ma'am

Nichols guest blogs at AboveTheLaw.com and maintains her own blog, “Thank You Ma'am,” which was voted recently as the top law student blog in the “2008 ABA Journal Blawg 100.”

old and new

2008

the most fun times you can remember: umm... getting married!! then of course the honeymoon!

your greatest flashes of creativity: scrap-booking, blogging... well kinda ;), and reading the twilight series--picturing the passion, love, and devotion, and creating a world where vampires and werewolves exist. it makes me want to write.

memorable things you heard people say: "God is sovereign to judge, the Holy Spirit convicts, and I am called to love"; "i do"

people you came to appreciate in a new way: Janice--i've decided to love her without expectation or want of anything in return. it's incredibly freeing. if i approach her with nothing but love and place no expectation on her head to perform, it makes for an amazingly giving and compassionate relationship.

times that music touched you deeply: when visiting ashley in fla, we heard a praise choir sing. my favorite verse was from a song that emphasizes how much we all need each other. "i pray for you, you pray for me, i love you, i need you to survive, stand with me, agree with me, i need you to survive, it is His will that every need be supplied, you are important to me, i need you to survive." amazing moment--ash, nida, you know what i'm talking about. oh, and this is really stupid, but taylor swift's love story. grant text me a really sweet section of it and every time i hear it i think of him--lame, i know, but it gets me every time.

in what ways did you change? i learned a lot. a lot about me. a lot about grant. a lot about being married. and a whole lot about God.

things that books taught you: i've read more this year than ever before, but a few stand out: for women only, God wants to save christians, the twilight series, a voice in the wind, along with re-reading a few faves. each one has taught me more about myself and who i want to become. and ever single one has had something to say about love, being more conscious about loving grant the way HE needs to be loved. representing and describing bonds that last a life time and then some.

terms you would use to describe yourself in 2008: happy. content. satisfied. joyful.

your most significant accomplishments: graduating from graduate school with a 4.0! woohoo! glad to be done with that!

people who came through for you: God. grant. family. georgia (she loves me and she's soft ;) and my besties

ways you messed up: i wish i'd given Janice a better chance sooner. but it's all in God's time and purpose.

times that God took you by surprise: wedding day bliss and every day since. finding this incredible apartment that we've made into a home. mending my heart when i didn't know i needed it.

if you were to give a title to 2008: "love and change"

2009

what apprehensions do you have about the coming year? getting a j.o.b.--yeah... hope that works out...!

what journeys would you like to take? visit greece, scotland, ireland, back to new zealand for grant's sake (it's his fave), a mission trip abroad with grant, i also want to do a beth moore video study series, which should be quite a journey i'm looking forward to.

what daring and potentially thrilling things would you like to do? skydive. that's gotta happen this year. and the whole mission trip to ... hopefully africa... should be an adventure in so many ways

what would you like to change about yourself? i want to be more involved in this shelter we've discovered; the mission and outreach is intoxicating. they go out weekly. and i want to serve more. i want us to serve more.

who do you want to get to know better this year? God. grant. zach and steph. Nile. our small group. my future boss....

if 2009 is to have a title, what do you want it to be? "go. do. seek adventure"

what major things do you want to accomplish this coming year? better discipline in my quiet time, more love, more compassion.

learning lately

Here's what I've been learning lately. It's a culmination of things--verses, conversations, sermons, thoughts--that have recently come together in a dream I had a few weeks ago. I rarely have dreams--well, actually I dream every night, but rarely dreams with significance or meaning. What's interesting is that I've had only three and each one involved Hannah and Aswan.

The first was prophetic about Aswan and his music, getting the deals necessary to spread the Word; the dream was as if I were watching it happen at a packed concert.

The second was the first night Hannah knew she was pregnant but hadn't told anyone; it was a convo between me and Go about how everyone had a time that they needed to be born, regardless of the "readiness" of the parents and how each person's birth effected eternity in a ripple effect. That was cool.

Then this one was about a lot of things but involved Aswan speaking truth into a community of believers--a truth that is rarely/ never addressed in church. I learned a lot. And it was good.

Here's my dream (kinda long, sorry, but for God's glory, I promise):

Last night I had a dream. Joseph Antonio [I have no idea the significance with Joseph, whom I have not seen in years] and I were on our way to a conference to hear someone great speak. We had heard much about him, but on the way in the car, I could not remember his name. There were two scheduled speakers, but we ended up hearing three sermons, basically about: worth, the ego-centric verses other-centric church, and compassion. These three topics were directly related to and tied in with scripture to love.

We arrived and the first speaker began to talk—almost like an opener for the second—to a crowd of about 200. He spoke about worth: that if we saw ourselves and each other as God sees us—worth everything—we would not submit ourselves to Sin and would forgive and love others more freely. If we viewed ourselves as worthy of God’s love and grace, as He does—not in a self-righteous or ungrateful way, but in a humble, loving, thankful, accepting way—we would not whore ourselves out to the Sin of the world or settle for so much less in relationships, in family, in respect (or lack thereof), in the church. We would not give our bodies to prostitution. We would not allow others to be sold as sex slaves. We would not allow pornography and drug use to be the largest industries in the world. We would not abort babies from the very womb in which God knit them together. We would not beat our wives or children. We would not kill each other out of hate or violence. Furthermore, the speaker went on, if we viewed our neighbors—every other human we came in contact with the same way, of the same worth and value as God’s creation—we would forgive and love more freely. We would give them the things that the Lord has given them and us so generously. We would clothe the homeless, feed the poor, visit the prisons, take in the orphans and widows, love the loveless, support the forsaken—FREELY—if we really thought they were worth it as God does. We would respond out of love and kindness not anger and bitterness. And as a result of the whole church living with purpose, knowing individual worth and the value of others as God sees His crown of creation, we would experience a freedom within ourselves as well; even though the most evident change would be outward, he argued, the biggest change would happen in the depths of our souls as we lived with different intentions and saw the world through news eyes and a renewed perspective. Seeing people and ourselves as God sees us can only result in gracious, lavish love, the kind of love that can change a family, a church, a city, a country, a world. He closed us in prayer, cited scripture throughout that I cannot now recall, and introduced the next speaker: Aswan.

The moment Aswan got to the stage, I realized that I had known all along who he was and the crowd thickened to over 1,000 packed in to hear him speak. Aswan spoke about an ego-centric church—a group of believes who come together, worship corporately, but view themselves self-righteous and as different from the others of the body in a separate and even elitist way. These people love and accept people as best they can, but they still have certain individuals, families, groups of people, that they cannot or will not resolve conflict with. All of this stems from the belief—so subtle they are unaware that Satan has embedded it so deeply in their understanding, which makes it an pandemic of the heart throughout the church and exponentially dangerous: the God that loves and accepts me, created me and died or my sins, that’s My God, not Your God; the God that created you, with all your junk, and baggage, and depression, and self-loathing, and anger, and ignorance, and regret, and un-forgiveness, and jealously, everything that makes you different from me, He is not my God. The argument follows that if my God calls me to love those that bear his image, and you certainly do not bear his image—and worship a different God (either outwardly or inwardly)—I will not love you but will instead choose to hate you, or separate you out from our group, our family, our church. I will ostracize you and refuse conflict resolution and forgiveness because you are different and my God is my God, not your God. He created me and values me, not you. Aswan went on to explain that thought potent, this thinking when laid out and expressed out loud, of course, is absurd; that is why Satan buries it so deeply in our hearts that we cannot unearth it ourselves without the accountability of others to help us deal with ourselves and others once it has been exposed to the light. This thinking—ego-centric church rather than others-centered church—is the reason that many who say they love Jesus can also choose to hate their brother. They are morally good and yet there’s something within them that expresses a great distaste and dissatisfaction with those who are different or have “otherness” qualities about them. This is also why the homeless are struggling, the orphans are starving, the widows are abandoned, the families and homes and churches are broken. Aswan pleaded with the crowd and expressed a dire need to preach and teach more about this topic in churches, to unearth the crud buried deep in our hearts, repent, forgive, resolve differences, and to love. He, too, cited many verses that I cannot at this time recall, but he gave a powerful message and the meeting was over. Many left, many ate, but someone (a prophet, I think) said, “There is still someone here who needs to speak God’s word. He has put it on your heart, and now needs you to speak it.”

I was that person. Me. Lucy.

It shocked me as much as anyone else as I prayed, got up on stage, and spoke to a group of about 20. It was good. I spoke about compassion. I said, tying in so pertinently with the first two speakers, that I believed God wanted us to seriously in a very real and practical daily way clothe ourselves with compassion—not anger, not stress, not the ways of the world, not the mindset of capitalism, but with compassion. I explained that God was teaching me a lot about that right now, that He had taken me through six months of a marriage with a mother-in-law that was very difficult to love. I had prayed for wisdom, and what God spoke into my heart was compassion. Compassion to replace the bitterness and hate, compassion to remove the resistance and stubbornness, compassion to ease the process of love and acceptance. Compassion is important to the Lord because it leads to good things: forgiveness, acceptance, love. Similar to the previous two messages, there exists an outward benefit to embracing compassion as a worldview and lifestyle and an inward benefit. The outward is that we are humble and joyous in the Lord in all things, and approach other people with godly qualities rather than the ones would otherwise come to them with. We would forgive freely, love generously, support one another, bare each other’s burdens, serve others more often and in more creative ways, pooling our resources for others rather than hording it away for ourselves. Inward benefits would include a freedom of the heart, liberation of the soul, a light and peaceful outlook to replace the darker one that had clouded our vision before. My sermon was much shorter than the other two, and I read scripture that, at this point, I cannot remember.

At the end, we closed in prayer and went out into the world, a new creation in Christ, with a new outlook, a new perspective, a better heart readjusted to kingdom needs rather than our own, and in reflect about what to do next. It was awesome and invigorating.

I woke up with a smile on my face.


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you may not believe in dreamers. it's ok. i didn't either until God spoke to me through dreams. i'm not trying to convince any one of the authenticity of my dream, just trying to spread the Word that i've most recently received from the Father. i think it speaks differently to everyone, so interpretation on my part is moot. xoxoxo

what do y'all think?

Food for Thought

There will be more on the New Year later. Until then, there's this food for thought.

i need africa

mocha club has launched a new platform called

"I need Africa more than Africa needs me"

the basics: (this is written on the inside of each tee)
"When I think of Africa, the following images immediately come to mind: Starvation. AIDS. Child soldiers. Genocide. Sex slaves. Orphans. From there, my thoughts naturally turn to how I can help, how I can make a difference. "I am needed here," I think. "They have so little, and I have so much." It's true, there are great tragedies playing out in Africa everyday. There is often a level of suffering here that is unimaginable until you have seen it, and even then it is difficult to believe. But what is even harder is reconciling the challenges that many Africans face with the joy I see in those same people. It's a joy that comes from somewhere I cannot fathom, not within the framework that has been my life to this day.

The images spilling out of my television showed circumstances that could seemingly only equal misery, and I was fooled. I bought into the lie that circumstance defines happiness. The truth is, in Africa I find hearts full of victory, indomitable spirits. In places where despair should thrive, instead I find adults dancing and singing, and children playing soccer with a ball crafted of tied up trash. Instead of payback, I find grace. Here, weekend getaways are not options to provide relief from the pains of daily life. Relationships and faith provide joy. Love is sovereign.

My new reality… I know now that my joy should have no regard for my circumstances. I'm ashamed by my lack of faith, but at the very same moment I am excited by my new pursuit. I'm forced to redefine the meaning of having much or having little. I'm uneasy with the prospect of change and of letting go, but just the thought of freedom is liberating. I want what I have learned to trickle down from my head into my heart - I no longer want to need the "next thing" to have joy.

I'm not saying that Africa does not need our efforts. It absolutely does need our partnership. But for me, I've come to understand that I NEED AFRICA MORE THAN AFRICA NEEDS ME. Why? Because it is Africa that has taught me that possessions in my hands will never be as valuable as peace in my heart. I've learned that I don't need what I have and that I have what I need. These are just a few of this continent's many lessons. I came here to serve and yet I've found that I have so much to learn, and Africa, with all its need, has much to teach me."

be sure to check out the video (about half way down the screen) on the website.

[i'm buying a couple of these tees for xmas presents]

also, marisa writes about it here and annie, here.

wind of change

This is more a season of change than any other. Ok, well maybe not as much of one as getting married, moving to Atlanta, working two jobs, and doing school, but still. Go with me. I'm graduating Saturday, closing the door on a whole chapter of my life that, oddly, Grant wasn't really a (physical) part of. (Shout out to Mason, who's also graduating Saturday--what a rock star.) I'm stepping out into the real world--yuck. Hannah's having/ has had her baby [i wouldn't know b/c i can't see her new blog and that makes my heart very very sad]. Christmas is coming. Jesus is come.

This season of change just brings a lot of newness, uncertainties, expectations, hopes, fears, and a whole lotta waiting around, being patient for everything to work out.

what I want to be prayerful about in the midst of all this change: hannah and aswan's little miracle, a j.o.b. for me, future and further interviews, Christmas time with the fam (actually we'll get to see both, but we'll spend the actual day with mine), Stahler finishing up high school, heidi being far away at Christmas, Coco and Nida working during the holidays, Ashley and Mason tackling a new semester in fla, Zach and Steph being home and together, Maggie starting at UGA and moving into Creswell, little MegaMoo [aka spaghetti] at auburn, Leen and Brandon's engagement as well as Sara and Andrew's, Carrie and Andrew as newly weds over the holidays, Laura who recently had a birthday!, mama and daddy preparing for an empty nest, our small group, our finances, our love. And I've been a little down and out lately, no big, just feeling a little left out of things. What things? idk. life. I think it's just the changing of the seasons, but pray for my little heart. All in all things are good and we are thankful. "The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy." Ps 126:3.

ps. "wind of change," if you didn't catch that in the title, is the name of a sweet sweet 80's monster ballad. it rocks. you should check it out if you're into that.

small group

Grant and I have found the most incredible small group--we're so so thankful! Fits the season. Anyway, we all kinda met together for a structured 8 week thing, but we didn't want to lose the friendships we found so we're continuing it at our place! Last night was the first real meeting. It was awesome. We're going through Andy Stanley's iMarriage. So perfect for us "MWok"s--Married WithOut Kids. Fresh perspective meets local favorite (andy) as five couples sit around and discuss the woes and wonders of marriage. It rocks. quick shout out to chris and jen, josh and amanda, erika and brian, and chris and caitlin! love yall!

Thanksgiving: we're having 10 people over for Thanksgiving! Yay for family! Rick and Janice, Mama Heath, G-ma, Grant's fam: Perry, Leigh Ann and their girls Evan and Aubrey (remember, from the wedding ;) and possibly my uncle merrill. You probably noticed that MY DAD AND BROTHER aren't listed. I KNOW! Stahler's football team is like a big deal (like 4th in the state), and they have to practice on Thursday, play on Friday--LAME! So daddy and Stahler man will not be with us on MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY. so so sad. We'll make it up at Christmas!! I will, however, be cooking for 10 no less. (omg) I'm really really looking forward to it. It'll still be fun and we have so so much to be thankful for.

School: I only have one more week of driving back and forth PRAISE JESUS! Looking at our finances tonight, we noted that gas will be significantly lower, meals out (since I eat out when I'm gone each week) will be much less, and we'll have so much more time together! It'll be like a second honeymoon just to spend all 7 days of a week together in one home--no more couch surfing, though I have enjoyed staying with Mason and Harrison--yall rock. seriously.

I graduate December 13th at 9 am in Tuscaloosa! We're spending the rest of the weekend at the LAKE with the fam! What a treat! But before all that I have two HUGE papers... dun dun dun. They are 30% and 50% of my grade in two of my three classes... can you believe it...? ughhgghh. Anyway, once I tackle those (then immediately forget them in order to enjoy thanksgiving) I can breathe easy.

Hannah: IS HAVING A BABY!!! still not sure it's registered with me the magnitude of that statement. wow. And we can't WAIT to meet little man Nile! If everything works out, hopefully Grant and I will get to make it up to Charlotte before he arrives! But who knows--babies have a mind of their own about being born on time... love you hannah bear.

Job: Please continue to pray for me in this. We kinda really need a second income (more significant than the pt check I get from Bulloch, tho I LOVE what I'm doing there) and I think one may come my way soon. I have an interview December 10th with a headhunting firm. We're just praying over and over again: YOUR will be done, Lord. I know it will work out in His time and with His provision (it sure would be nice if that happened before Christmas...) xoxoox

That's about all that's new with me (total chaos as usual). What's new with you?

quick fave

For the past 4 days I have been lounging on the beach with Nida and Ashley spending some much needed quality time. While I have much to blog about that, for now I'll leave you with my quick fave from the entire trip. On Sunday at church we heard a gospel choir sing--Amazing! This is my favorite quote from that service and one I want to remember forever about the body of Christ:

I pray for you
you pray for me
I love you
I need you to survive.

More to come...
[miss them already, especially as I'm thrown back into school work...]

tag it!

I Am: a wife, a student, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a lover of Jesus
I Have: all that i need. actually probably more than i need
I Think: constantly--i'm always in my head
I Know: where my treasure lies
I Dislike: ignorance
I Miss: my fam--esp precious stahler
I Fear: failure
I Feel: loved, blessed, happy, and content
I Want: peace
I Smell: grant even when i'm away each week b/c i put his cologne on my pillow
I Crave: dexter dvds. that serial-killer is awesome
I Cry: every once in a while. sometimes just because
I Usually: am contemplating the future
I Search: for jobs constantly, continually, daily, hourly, all the time
I Wonder: where we'll be in 5 years
I Care: so much about family, traditions, love, seasons, and holidays
I Love: grant grant grant and of course, dane cook and Jesus
I Regret: not soaking up every minute at uga
I Always: search for the good in people or circumstances
I Worry: that i wont ever reach or respond to my full potential
I Am Not: excited about working in the 'real world'
I Remember: my sweet granddaddy and our 'dates'--lunch most fridays of my senior year in high school
I Dance: ALL the time, in public, alone, with music, without, all the time my heart sings and i dance
I Don't Always: do anything
I Write: all the time. i love reading, writing, exploring words' meanings in written form. words are all we have to discribe this life and all its beauty
I Win: nothing. incredibly unlucky
I Wish: everyone could feel what i feel as a newly wed. seriously, this is the greatest thing ever and i hope everyone is emersed lavishly in love at least once
I Argue: when i should conceed
I Listen: to better understand (but never enough)
I Lose: the backs of earrings
I Don't Understand: why some people choose not to get better, not to change, not to heal
I Can Usually Be Found: with a good book and coffee out on our back porch
I Am Scared: to have children. that's a lot to be responsible for.
I Need: love
I Forget: the hard parts of seasons and somehow remember mostly the good
I Am: grateful